Show #298

Hello Friends of the Garden!

Sorry for the irregular posting of my blog of late. At the end of the first month of 2018 I find myself as distracted as I’ve ever been. January also marks a milestone in my life that always felt too distant in the future to be real and that is my retirement! I have mixed feelings about it but I’m pretty new at the whole retirement thing.

The real issue that has dominated the previous month has been the health of my father in law, Larry. Larry has been in the hospital almost all of the month of January. It has been a hope-inspiring thing to witness the way the family has rallied around Larry. This is a clear testament to the strength of family. My retirement has allowed me to be the “weekday morning” team and collect as much information as I can for the family.

Being with Larry in the hospital has been a true challenge for me. I’m terrible about being patient but I’m getting better at it. I think the hardest part of the experience has been the memories of my own father that this has dredged up again. I’m finding that I have real struggles with loss. I don’t feel like I’m alone when it comes to this. I know many people share the same feelings as I do. The thing is that the feelings we share are not something that we do openly.

Now that I’m officially retired I have plenty of time to contemplate things. I’m still busy with stuff. I have been able to ease the tension of the everyday tasks that we had to force fit into our already even busier schedules. It is a new experience to have space in the day for myself to waste or be productive with. The transition of working to retirement is like many other milestones in the course of life, filled with uncertainty, possibilities and a refreshing rest stop on the road of life!

The road to my house at the coast isn’t very far. It takes about two hours and thirty minutes to drive there. I almost always drive straight through. Not far from where James Dean died there is a rest stop. There are always cars there but I never stop there. I’m always eagerly anticipating the deeply relaxing and satisfying effect of hearing the ocean at night from my deck.

As I drive past the rest stop in Cholame, I subconsciously shake my head and think what it would take to make me want to stop and give that time away? If I just kept going I’d be there sooner. Besides, I just now finally got around those stinking slow RV’s. If I pull over now then I’ll lose those precious seconds of progress I made. Impatience is just one of many other afflictions I am beset with. I truly am working on it.

Rationalizing why those cars are at the rest stop becomes a silly endeavor. For me, stopping is just never a thought that comes to mind. I never take the time to consider that I have no idea how long those people have been driving. They could be exhausted from more than driving. There could be things weighing on their minds that make it difficult to concentrate. I don’t think about how old they are, or if they have kids. I have no inkling of where on the “road of life” those resting cars are!

In my own way, (also the title of an awesome Marshall Tucker Band song) I have taken a rest at a rest stop of my own. Funny, what comes to mind is, “The pause that refreshes!” Simply having the option of taking my time is unusual and foreign. There are still demands of my time and attention but, I can sense a relaxed feeling setting in that I’ve never experienced before. It’s odd to think that being relaxed is not something that is instantly acquired. It takes some getting used to but it’s a good thing.

Getting back on the highway will be the real test! After taking a break at the rest stop the road looks different but much the same. Taking the “road less travelled” seems like an easy, euphemism. Maybe I’ve already been on the road less travelled and I’m just too dense to realize it! While the possibilities are not limitless there are still many. Do you suppose being a professional “Corn Hole” player is out of the realm of possibilities?

Peace and love to you all!

Mike